Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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