I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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