Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
