we're chasing vodka with high fives
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
