WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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