you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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