This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
