We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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