people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize