You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
