walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
