so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
