I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
