Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
