He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize