To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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