The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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