i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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