his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
