we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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