I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
