I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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