I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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