Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
