i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize