You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
