does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
