I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
