At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
