Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
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Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
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That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.