so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She needs sedatives and a leash
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize