I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Soap is not a condiment
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Good thing I've started drinking again