how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
