It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
