the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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