I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
