Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
