If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize