Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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