yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
