Buhtt sex?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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