Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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