He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
