I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
