I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
