maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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