Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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