This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
