I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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