I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
