I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
