Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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