I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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