Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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