I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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