I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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