I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
