hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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