end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
