When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
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Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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