Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
3pm strippers are depressing
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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