As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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