worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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