Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
